Brick Wall Hosts 2014 Oscars - People Decry racism and sexism

The controversy surrounding the host of the 2014 Oscars won't stop humming.  5% of twitter users using 95% of the bandwidth of the site have decried "openly racist and sexist moments" committed by the brick wall.

Twitter user KHater says "I just found it really sexist that it said absolutely nothing before announcing best actress."  Another user decried the moment a single brick fell off the wall as intentionally disrupting Jennifer Anniston's acceptance speech as "highly offensive to women everywhere."

On top of that the moment where Jamie Foxx addressed the wall to a huge moment of silence was decried by some as intentionally racist.

"This was a truly disappointing performance" says a source close with the show.  "After last year's uproar over the 'boob song' in which some viewers were actually dumb enough to believe Charleze Theron was really offended (then took to the stage to dance with Tatum and MacFarlene - Yeah I'm sure she had NO idea about the song beforehand), the production company felt that it was time to take the safe road.  It was a bold idea.  No dialogue, singing or dancing.  Nothing at all but a brick wall occasionally rolled out. The ratings were terrible and STILL there were a ton of viewers what thought the host was racist and sexist.  I mean we cant win.  Its like some of these people have nothing better to do than find racism and sexism in everything."

The International Home for People without a Sense of humor declined to comment, aside from saying that maybe next year they can "try that guy from Full House.  He was Hilarious and that show was a laugh riot."  Upon hearing the suggestion, Bob Sagat let out a string of obscenities that are still circling around the planet.  "Did they hear my bit about Kimmy Gibler's boobs?"

S.O.T.U. PT2: And The theatre continues

I watched it.  I watched it twice.  Why do I do these things to myself?  No amount of psychotropic drugs could have made me believe a word.  The State of the Union was full of nothing but fiction and nonsense.  Even Hunter S. Thompson wrote more lucid work that at least had 1 foot in reality.  

Then I had the worst revelation.  I have to write about this crap. I have to point out all the obvious BS that Obama, and the 2 assholes following him (Republican and T Party respectively) had to say about where this country is headed.  Well most of us know where this country is headed:

But hey, this is the best part.  Where I rip them all to pieces and call them out on their BS.  But after listening to all that, I've decided to let someone else do it.  Happy reading.

The State of the Union: Part I

More political theatre please!  Tonight as you know (or if you care) is the state of the union address.  As I found out, there are many news media organizations that want to know what you want to hear.  I got a particular email from ROCK THE VOTE!

Hey Talos,

The State of the Union address is tonight! The President is going to lay out his vision for the country.

Here in DC, we're hearing rumors that the President will talk a lot about jobs. Lots of groups are pushing to make sure climate change, education, gun safety, immigration, and women's rights are included too.

What are you hoping to hear the President address tonight? Let us know!.

Plus - our very own Amanda Brown will join other panelists for some post-speech analysis from a young voter's perspective at 9:30, and we want to be able to comment on how well the President addressed the issues of concern to our community.

So, weigh in now and share with your friends too. We will post the results in real time, so you can check out what issues are rising to the top. Then tune in to the speech at 9pm ET and the young voter analysis at 9:30pm ET here.

Thanks,
Phaedra

I love getting crappy email like that. But being the everlasting asshole that I am, I decided to follow the link.  I was going to tell him what I wanted to hear allright. I wanted him to address:

• Why his administration has yet to arrest any of these bankers who are clearly running a criminal racket using tax payer money to enrich themselves
• Why his administration seems hell bent on censoring the internet Chinese Style and in the process making criminals out of ordinary, law abiding citizens
• Why drones are now flying around America waiting for their chance to lay waste to American citizens without the hassles of following due process
• Why he feels printing money into infinity is the way forward economically and won't cause hyperinflation
• Why his administration cheerleads job growth in the low wage sector as progress

Etc, etc.  I'd also add a question to his fans: Why are the evil things he does ok when he does it, but you know you would have flipped out if George W Bush did it?  

But no.  See we can only interact from a script.  Rock the vote knows that you all are too stupid to voice specific concerns, so you can only select from this list:

• Climate Change
• Education
• Gun Safety
• Immigration
• Women's Rights
• Jobs

Thats all there is.  Oh, and you can't tell them anything specific.  You choose one, enter your email, and that is it.  But remember it is all political theatre anyway.  Even if he promises the moon (which I believe "W" did one year), there is no way its happening.  

So with that in mind, here is the real state of the union:

My fellow Americans.  The State of the Union is FUBAR.  As we hobble forward slowly towards the inevitable cliff of our own making, we must make further sacrifices to appease the bankers who rule us.  (APPLAUSE?)  

It is our belief that the American Dream is attainable for every American who owns a time machine.  For the rest of us, we must work together to forge a bold new path towards our own servitude.  That is why we must lower interest rates further so that banks may borrow unlimited amounts of cash for use in market manipulation.  For on the day that they inevitably crash the market, we must be ready to bail them out by using your pensions and home equity.  As Americans, this shared sacrifice must be paired with strict austerity.  We believe that raising taxes in an obvious way is not acceptable.  Therefore, the Federal Reserve will embark on its 4th round of Quantitative Easing and we shall only ignore extending tax breaks that most Americans don't know about.  

As Americans, we must be prepared to save the banks at all cost. We must invest in the criminals who run these banks.  That is why we must extend our 0% borrowing cost to the banks indefinitely.  To this end, we must also raise the interest rates students pay to the banks to at least 20%.  Education must take priority in this country not only as a way to enrich bankers, but to lead unsuspecting students into lives of servitude and debt slavery. Students must get a first rate education so that they too can compete with 5,000 other people for a minimum wage job that doesn't require a college level education, but you won't get in the door without it.  The job of course will be part time and the employer won't be required to provide health insurance.  Now some might say the future is bleak for this upcoming generation.  But I don't believe that to be true.  Life for the future generation will be far better than that of the current generation of North Koreans, some of who have taken their jobs.  

We must invest further in health care.  It is true that the health care package I authorized does nothing to lower the cost of health care.  Some may even say those costs are rising out of control. But on this program, millions of part time workers will be forced to pay for their health care out of pocket or face high fines or jail time.  To this end, we must build newer and better prisons to hold the countless millions who will be enslaved in this system.  This will have three affects.  One, this will give housing to millions of Americans who are outside of the system.  Two, this will give them low paying jobs manufacturing license plates and other goods for Chinese wages.  Three, this will feed millions of Americans.  This should not affect company profits at all in the healthcare sector.  

We must also acknowledge that the Earth is changing. We must take steps to address the changes that affect us all. First, we must make a carbon tax system that most big companies will be exempt from.  Second, we need to make a carbon credit trading market so that banks can steal more money from the taxpayers in a new casino environment. While real environmental problems such as the bleaching of the oceans and the extinction of a great deal of ocean life are a real threat, we don't see a way we can actually profit off it so we have no plan to address it.  

So going forward, as if to our own doom, we march on.  God Bless America.  

If that was actually his speech, I think I'd crap my pants.  Sad thing is that most Obama supporters would probably line up for prison ankle bracelets after that speech saying "Well at least Romney or another Republican isn't doing this to me" as if it is a victory of some sort.

Join me in part 2 of this post when I bitch about how bad the speech actually was.

Paul Krugman is STILL an idiot

Paul Krugman never ceases to amaze me.  Consider this video of the man being interviewed by professional financial news fluffer er...whatshername.  



Yes, we can never run out of cash!  Problem solved!  Apparently by magic!  That Krugman is a magician.  How can we have a run on interest rates?   "The answer is its not an easy story to tell."  Wow.  I'm blown away.  Where can I get one of those magical PhD things that make people listen no my random ramblings?   Apparently Krugman thinks that as long as a country owns it own printing press, they can never run out of cash.  See that whole Weimer Republic hyperinflation thing really never happened.  

But despite the efforts of the professional fluffer to try to convince the audience that most of our debt is owned by Americans (AKA the we are just like Japan defense), well the facts don't actually agree.  From Wikipedia:

• As of January 2011, foreigners owned $4.45 trillion of U.S. debt, or approximately 47% of the debt held by the public of $9.49 trillion and 32% of the total debt of $14.1 trillion.^[63] The largest holders were the central banks of China, Japan, Brazil, Taiwan, United Kingdom, Switzerland and Russia.^[65] The share held by foreign governments has grown over time, rising from 13% of the public debt in 1988^[66] to 25% in 2007.^[67]

So you know, lie when it works.  That is actually the job of the financial fluffer.  Help the head liar be more believable. 

Krugman's main argument continues to be "the debt is in dollars, we never run out because we can print the stuff." And he is completely clueless as to what a run on interest rats and a currency actually looks like.  For the answer to this, lets look at a trend that is beginning to really take off – countries grabbing their gold with both hands.  

• Germany wants its 674 tons of gold back
• Switzerland wants its gold back
• Ecuador wants its gold back
• The Netherlands wants its gold back
• Australia wants its gold back

And that doesn't even count countries like Venezuela and Iran who are also grabbing their gold.  Nor does it count the aggressive acquisition of both gold and silver by countries like China, Russia, and India.  This is a run away from the reserve currency, which is the dollar.  

God help us if more morons like Krugman are still steering the ship.  

Mr Obama's freaking birth certificate

Greetings brain damaged audience.  Today I want to put to rest once and for all the issue of Mr Obama's citizenship and talk a bit about the birth certificate that everyone points to as proof of said citizenship.

I will be pointing out things that will require you to actually think.  Here is where we get into trouble.  Why?

Well here is where we run into our first problem.  This has to do with IQ and the average intelligence of an American citizen. When making basic statements such as "the sky is blue," there is a certain segment of the population who will fight you and insist it is otherwise. Now as it turns out, the average IQ in the US is pretty decent, currently standing at 98 (source).  As the chart above indicates, half of the population will have a lower IQ and thus might have a hard time following this very basic info.  

Others will insist it is irrelevant just based on the fact they like the guy.  Hey, who doesn't?  Obama is a very charismatic guy.  People want to like him. I want to like him.  However I am not willing to turn a blind eye to every questionable or flat out wrong thing his administration does simply because I want to grab a drink with the guy.  Remember Bush?  There were people who voted for him simply because they wanted to grab a drink with him.  And he was a war criminal.  But whatever, lets give them both medals and lucrative book deals.  God Bless America!  

But lets just dive in to this birth certificate business.

A word on my credentials

Now I will be approaching this specifically from my professional experience.  I have spent the last 15 years as a graphic artist.  I am an expert at retouching photographs and illustrations in photoshop.  Having that experience, I can usually tell when a photograph has been heavily airbrushed, distorted, combined with another photograph, or otherwise was digitally manipulated.  Even the best photoshop artist usually misses something within the image that gives away its origins.  

Now when it comes to this birth certificate business, luckily no experts were used.  The digital manipulation is so blatantly obvious that even the untrained eye can spot it.  But first, a word on why nobody in the media covers this.  

Obama's birth certificate and the main stream media.

Now whenever the mainstream media presents the certificate, it looks like this (source):

However what the White House actually released, looks like this (source):

A thinking person off the top of their head would probably raise the following questions:

1. Why is the form so much smaller than the paper?
2. Is it standard practice in Hawaii to put such a small form on such a big piece of paper?
3. Why do all the media outlets crop it?  After all if it is the official form it shouldn't be cropped!

So right away it is clear that all the mainstream media companies decided that showing it as released made it look too odd.  The decision to crop it when presenting it to the people shows, at the very least, deception on the part of the mainstream media companies like CNBC, CNN, FOX, and others.  

But it gets worse

The paper:

Take a close look at the paper.  Just the paper.  Here I'll help you:

Now the first thing you should notice about the paper is how regular and flat it is.  In fact, if you drew some straight grid lines over it, you would notice that the paper is orientated on a perfect grid:

Everything lines up nicely on a perfect grid.  This paper was scanned completely flat as there is no distortion to the paper.

Store that fact away, the paper is flat and has no distortion.  Lets look at the form:

The form:

Now lets take a quick look at the form.  Right away, we see that it has a slight bend to it.  It curls back as if the paper is being held back from the scanner. then there is a gradient of tone that disappears on the perfectly flat parts yet appears on the left hand side.  Strange, no?

Now most of you have seen this type of distortion before. This is specifically the result of photocopying an image from a book.  As seen here:

The gradation in tone is a result of the binding of a book. The curvature is the result of not being able to put the book completely flat on the machine.  So what we can tell just by this is that the birth certificate form was photocopied much in the same manner as the book above AND that the source of the form had to be from a book.   

Putting 2+2 together:

So we have a form with a clear distortion on the left hand side in a pattern that matches photocopying from a book superimposed on a perfect piece of paper with absolutely no distortion.  Unless you are an idiot, you can draw the following conclusions:

1. The form was more than likely photocopied
2. The paper was more than likely scanned
3. The form is distorted while the paper is not
4. Therefore the form and the paper were most likely put together digitally and were never physically together

If you got that far, congratulate yourself.  The form and the paper clearly were never together.  Now the next questions you should ask yourself are:

1. If these were put together digitally, then why?
2. If he had a real birth certificate, wouldn't it be easier just to scan that flat?
3. If he did this to protect personal information, why wouldn't he just black marker the parts he didn't want shown?
4. If this is digitally manipulated, is any of the information valid?

Now those are the questions, aren't they? But you are a conspiracy theorist for asking any of them.  For 3 people in a room with a scanner, a photocopier, and a computer with Photoshop on it couldn't possibly use said tools to willingly commit an act of fraud.  And there is no way the mainstream media would possibly try their best to comply and make the public believe it.  Its not as if they would lose access to the White House by questioning the validity of said document.  Its also not as if their very business model depended on a pliant White House who would not challenge their little cartel.

Now yes there is even more stuff within the document that proves it has been digitally altered.  Weird glows, an additional layer (for Illustrator users), etc.  But what more do you need?  At this point, I could write a credit application for someone else in Crayon and no one would question its validity.  I would probably even throw an obvious sex hotline (1-900-HOT-MAMA) in as the number and people would fully believe it.  At least if I was a big banker or politician they would.