Mr Obama's freaking birth certificate

Greetings brain damaged audience.  Today I want to put to rest once and for all the issue of Mr Obama's citizenship and talk a bit about the birth certificate that everyone points to as proof of said citizenship.

I will be pointing out things that will require you to actually think.  Here is where we get into trouble.  Why?

Well here is where we run into our first problem.  This has to do with IQ and the average intelligence of an American citizen. When making basic statements such as "the sky is blue," there is a certain segment of the population who will fight you and insist it is otherwise. Now as it turns out, the average IQ in the US is pretty decent, currently standing at 98 (source).  As the chart above indicates, half of the population will have a lower IQ and thus might have a hard time following this very basic info.  

Others will insist it is irrelevant just based on the fact they like the guy.  Hey, who doesn't?  Obama is a very charismatic guy.  People want to like him. I want to like him.  However I am not willing to turn a blind eye to every questionable or flat out wrong thing his administration does simply because I want to grab a drink with the guy.  Remember Bush?  There were people who voted for him simply because they wanted to grab a drink with him.  And he was a war criminal.  But whatever, lets give them both medals and lucrative book deals.  God Bless America!  

But lets just dive in to this birth certificate business.

A word on my credentials

Now I will be approaching this specifically from my professional experience.  I have spent the last 15 years as a graphic artist.  I am an expert at retouching photographs and illustrations in photoshop.  Having that experience, I can usually tell when a photograph has been heavily airbrushed, distorted, combined with another photograph, or otherwise was digitally manipulated.  Even the best photoshop artist usually misses something within the image that gives away its origins.  

Now when it comes to this birth certificate business, luckily no experts were used.  The digital manipulation is so blatantly obvious that even the untrained eye can spot it.  But first, a word on why nobody in the media covers this.  

Obama's birth certificate and the main stream media.

Now whenever the mainstream media presents the certificate, it looks like this (source):

However what the White House actually released, looks like this (source):

A thinking person off the top of their head would probably raise the following questions:

1. Why is the form so much smaller than the paper?
2. Is it standard practice in Hawaii to put such a small form on such a big piece of paper?
3. Why do all the media outlets crop it?  After all if it is the official form it shouldn't be cropped!

So right away it is clear that all the mainstream media companies decided that showing it as released made it look too odd.  The decision to crop it when presenting it to the people shows, at the very least, deception on the part of the mainstream media companies like CNBC, CNN, FOX, and others.  

But it gets worse

The paper:

Take a close look at the paper.  Just the paper.  Here I'll help you:

Now the first thing you should notice about the paper is how regular and flat it is.  In fact, if you drew some straight grid lines over it, you would notice that the paper is orientated on a perfect grid:

Everything lines up nicely on a perfect grid.  This paper was scanned completely flat as there is no distortion to the paper.

Store that fact away, the paper is flat and has no distortion.  Lets look at the form:

The form:

Now lets take a quick look at the form.  Right away, we see that it has a slight bend to it.  It curls back as if the paper is being held back from the scanner. then there is a gradient of tone that disappears on the perfectly flat parts yet appears on the left hand side.  Strange, no?

Now most of you have seen this type of distortion before. This is specifically the result of photocopying an image from a book.  As seen here:

The gradation in tone is a result of the binding of a book. The curvature is the result of not being able to put the book completely flat on the machine.  So what we can tell just by this is that the birth certificate form was photocopied much in the same manner as the book above AND that the source of the form had to be from a book.   

Putting 2+2 together:

So we have a form with a clear distortion on the left hand side in a pattern that matches photocopying from a book superimposed on a perfect piece of paper with absolutely no distortion.  Unless you are an idiot, you can draw the following conclusions:

1. The form was more than likely photocopied
2. The paper was more than likely scanned
3. The form is distorted while the paper is not
4. Therefore the form and the paper were most likely put together digitally and were never physically together

If you got that far, congratulate yourself.  The form and the paper clearly were never together.  Now the next questions you should ask yourself are:

1. If these were put together digitally, then why?
2. If he had a real birth certificate, wouldn't it be easier just to scan that flat?
3. If he did this to protect personal information, why wouldn't he just black marker the parts he didn't want shown?
4. If this is digitally manipulated, is any of the information valid?

Now those are the questions, aren't they? But you are a conspiracy theorist for asking any of them.  For 3 people in a room with a scanner, a photocopier, and a computer with Photoshop on it couldn't possibly use said tools to willingly commit an act of fraud.  And there is no way the mainstream media would possibly try their best to comply and make the public believe it.  Its not as if they would lose access to the White House by questioning the validity of said document.  Its also not as if their very business model depended on a pliant White House who would not challenge their little cartel.

Now yes there is even more stuff within the document that proves it has been digitally altered.  Weird glows, an additional layer (for Illustrator users), etc.  But what more do you need?  At this point, I could write a credit application for someone else in Crayon and no one would question its validity.  I would probably even throw an obvious sex hotline (1-900-HOT-MAMA) in as the number and people would fully believe it.  At least if I was a big banker or politician they would.